Lack of confidence to oneself is not a new thing to our ears. Many people spend thousands dollars to professional therapist to solve this problem. This issue is critical with real risk of damaging our future. Fortunately, it is fact that we can solve this problem alone without therapist. There are ways we can go through.
What Does Self Confidence Mean
The word “Confidence” is derived from the Latin is fidere, which means “trust”. Self-Confidence can be described as a person’s beliefs on the value and ability of himself in conducting the activities of various kinds, embrace the opportunity, dealing with difficult situations and conditions in order to achieve success.
There are people who have the confidence to levels adequate, but there are also who have confidence is in very high level. They are the type of people who always ready to face the challenge and obstacles in following the process in achieving their success.
What is Lack of Confidence
But there are also people who have low confidence level or at a level that is not inadequate for face many challenges and obstacles in life. Contrary to those who have high confidence, someone with low self confidence have a huge obstacle in itself when attempting to reach success.
The level of someone’s confidence is often linked to self-esteem or self-worth. In general, someone who has high confidence in its capacity will have high self-esteem. But the opposite, if you are not confident with the skills you have it will result in decreased self-esteem. Although in certain circumstances, confidence is not directly proportional to the self-esteem.
Based on the research ever conducted, people with symptoms of lacking of confidence tends to treat their self badly. Another adverse effect of the low confidence is to make someone become timid, not excited, easily discouraged, anxious, unable to set targets and goals.
What does the description of a person who has low self-esteem? There are few words that can represent an idea or as a synonym of no self-confidence :
- diffident : Lacking of confidence to themself
- Fainthearted : Lacking of courage
- Lack of self-worth
- Poor self image
With this you so understand why confidence is very important for a person of psychology and mental health in real life in this world.
What Causes Low Confidence
Why do people have no confidence? There are several reasons why a person lacking confidence. Low self-confidence can be caused by various factors. In broad outline including genetics and the environment during growth and development. But often the concern is how the environment in which a person lives and interact socially can turn him into a less confident.
Bad childhood experiences can shape a person becomes of no confidence in himself. And some of these experiences include :
- Negative assessment by others against someone can turn that person into a low self-esteem and lead to distrust himself in many ways. One can judge him feel not smart enough, not interesting enough, unpleasant, no talent.
- Parents who educate children in the wrong way such as repeatedly blaming the children, scold them for a simple matter, can make them have a wrong self-concept.
- Parents who are overly protective of children and always direct them to the wishes of parents, can make them lose the opportunity and experience to organize themselves.
- Comparing a child with another make them get the wrong impression and can be destructive as well as their confidence.
If today you feel why have a lack of self-confidence, you can see the causes above.
Lacking Confidence Signs
How do I know I have anxiety and confidence problems?? Lacking self-confidence problems can also occur in situations such at work place, school, social life, personal relationships, sports and various kinds.
When someone is looking for a job and doing an interview, their self-confidence is thoroughly being tested. If a job-seeker is experiencing pressure on him, it is usually they will divert eye contact to the interviewer. And when on a job testing, someone with low confidence will not be able to fully concentrate on the test at hand.
This situation can be used to determine the leadership talent, motivation, mental, personality of the job seekers.
Loss of confidence also affects the work. No confidence can occur on each employee. One of the cases can occur when a business presentation. It can affect communication between the company and client. Overall, this condition can damage the company’s management.
How to feel confident at work? Therefore, get employees who have self-confidence and a positive mental attitude is very important. But it mostly happen that an unemployed has a bigger confidence problem rather than those who are working at certain company.
Low self confidence can also occur on a particular sport athletes such as football, horse riding, golf, tennis, gymnastics, and many others. This condition can give a big impact to the athletes by loose concentration, loose of strength and at the end decreasing their achievement.
In education, no-confidence problems can occur at school. In many cases it was found that students in various levels of education are experiencing this problem. In fact, this condition becomes a serious problem which causes students to be more depressed and anxious. And it could affect on their learning achievement and threatening their future.
From some literature it is mentioned that the problem of losing self confidence was also suffered by children at an early age. Children in the age range between 3 to 10 years has found suffer this problem. Of course it should be treated with care so as not to hamper their psychological condition when growing up.
Having No Confidence Symptoms
Symptoms of no confidence in a person can be seen from some of the following:
A person with no confidence will always divert eye contact on another object while talking face to face. Face to face is disturbing for them
Tone of voice always change when talking or always putting pressure on words that are less precise. Some spoke in a voice so low that hardly audible.
Mood changes frequently in a short time is a symptom of low on confidence that is often found in patients with this problem. When they’re happy, suddenly arose a feeling of sadness that is not known what causes it.
Importancy and Benefit Overcoming Low Self Confident
In highlight, it is clear that it has something to do with self esteem inner conflict. People with this issue tend to doubt themselves on certain and sometimes on all things. It can be caused on failure they made or social pressure they get on their environment. The big problem on having no confidence at all causes anxiety in many cases.
If not solved, this issue can rise into different angle. It commonly creates certain damage to a personality and, eventually, ruins the future. Lack of confidences behavior and anxiety disorder as a weakness affects at works and many other social life.
Considering the vast effect, we must go through steps to solve the issue if we have it. There is no instant cure to how to cope with low self esteem.
Besides being back in the game for pursuing great future, we will also gain the following benefits after getting through the whole process of gaining self confidence:
- We move on from bad past
- We recognize and identify our own good qualities
- We have faith and believe on our own selves
- We see ourselves and life in good perspective
- We are not under pressure or stressed out
- We provide ourselves the future
- We can prevent the same damage
- We can help others with the same problems
The Steps and Processes of How to Overcome Lack of Self Confidence Issue
What to do if you have low self esteem and confidence? Fortunately, against all the facts that lack of confidence depression can be classified as dangerously damaging, there are few steps we can go through to solve it. Here are the entire steps how to build self confidence we must make:
- Know and Identify Yourself
How to become more confident and outgoing? We must know all of our good qualities and abilities. We must also write them down so we can read them again and keeping them in our mind. Someone can have so many of those or too few as well. It doesn’t matter. We are not focusing on the amount or the size. We must write down all good qualities we have, even the tiny ones. It lets us know what we may be capable of and how to work on yourself.
- Make Accomplishment List
When we are done listing our good qualities, we need to make a list on each accomplishment we made. Try to remember them since the very beginning and don’t underestimate very tiny accomplishment. It can indicate something even bigger than you think. You don’t have to do this in a time. We can do it partially and we can use albums or letters and emails or anything that will remind you to it.
- Positive Environment
On factor on how to get your confidence back is environment. Positive environment gives the biggest support for people trying to solve lack of self confidence issue. Don’t hang around people who like to harass or make joke about us. Instead, stay with people who accept us and see us as a real person. If we don’t have any, we should settle alone. Think only good side of everything before calculating risks. Stop when you start having negative thoughts and focus in being positive in attitude.
- Set Some Goals
How to work on self confidence? We need to move on, and for this, we need destination. To make everything more focused and controlled, we must try to set some real and achievable goals based on our good qualities. Every time the goals are achieved, we acquire new skills that enable us to achieve better goals. Simple and real goals are better. We can set new ones every time we make achievement. It’s better this way how to build self respect by understand ourselves ability.
- Build Confident Body Language
How to have higher self esteem? Confidence must be build through times and steps. In order to achieve it, we must try to behave like a confident person. How to appear confident? Sit straight, walk confidently, speak clearly and make sure we are positively recognized. Don’t hesitate while doing it. This is surprising but acting confident get people through an effective process of building real confident. They like how it feels and it encourages the process.
- Provide Ourselves Chances
Instead of being sad and idle, we must try new things to be more confidence. New things can be courses or classes we never have the courage to go to or activities we always want to do. We can also hang out on different places and meet new friends, invite someone into a conversation first, or dare ourselves to do things we never think about before. Just be brave and adventurous this time. By doing this way you find the answer on how to build your self worth.
- Be A Helper
How to be very confident? Instead of looking for help, we must be the one who helps. We don’t have to do big things that change the world. We only need to make simple help. Give an elderly your seat spot in a waiting room. Tie a kid’s shoelace. Give up the only one left box of cereal to other shopper. Do it sincerely and suddenly you don’t need any help. You must believe it is a great way how to have confidence and power in dealing with people, and you become the winner.
- Live Healthy
How to make yourself feel good? To feel real good about ourselves, we must be good to ourselves. We can do this by many ways including live a healthy life. Lack of self esteem issue will get better if we take a good care of ourselves. We should eat regularly, pick healthy menu, do a little exercise like running, avoid negative thoughts and pressure, and hold on to that habits. That is the better way how to deal with low self esteem.
- Don’t Be A Perfect Freak
How to increase your self confidence? We are allowed to do things in most perfect way we can think of, but we are not allowed to be a freaky perfectionist. We must accept the fact that things can’t be perfect all the time for us. Accept the people make mistakes every now and then. Accept that everything can suddenly go wrong. Hope for positive things and tolerate flaws in the middle of everything. If you keep doing this everything then you will know how to gain self respect from others.
- Just Hold On
The entire steps will be ended very soon, even sooner than we thought. We will need to repeat it again, and normally, we do it better and better. We just can’t hope for instant result. We build something strong in longer process.Repeat the steps again and again and do it better, and just hold on. Don’t stop or give up until you get your confidence back.
How Bad Effect of Lack of Confidence Influence Your Life
Below a video that shows how lack of confidence can give effect to one’s life.
Before we start to do the entire steps, we may need to know that we shouldn’t expect something instant and fast on this. Building up our self confidence takes not only great effort but also a lot of time. We don’t have to bother on how long it takes but on how good the result of solving lack of confidence.